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06

Nov

I like to sit down a pee. 

Why?

My penis is not very dexterous.

19

Oct

forlackofabettercomic:

It’s just not right that 1% of the zombie population controls over 50% of the brains.

forlackofabettercomic:

It’s just not right that 1% of the zombie population controls over 50% of the brains.

16

Oct

Also when you date a rubiks cube. So confusing

Also when you date a rubiks cube. So confusing

(Source: brotips)

02

Oct

A person from a younger generation could criticize our generation.  A person from a the generation after the generation who raised us could criticize our generation, but you could argue they raised us by proxy.  Statement is invalid. 

A person from a younger generation could criticize our generation.  A person from a the generation after the generation who raised us could criticize our generation, but you could argue they raised us by proxy.  Statement is invalid. 

30

Sep

I’m as cool as a black guy. 

I’m as cool as a black guy. 

29

Sep

Communist China Rap

By: Josh Quan 

I’m a pimp with some swag that originates from China

All the girls in the world give me they vagina.

But I don’t need yo pussy because I have pussies lined up

I’m in a room with 2 girls and we got one (tea) cup

Players wanna play me, but I’m not a fuckin game

I throw a Chinese Chess* board in they face and set that bitch aflame.

You think you a hard bitch, but you everythin I hate.  

I break yo fucking legs; pawn to F5, mo fuckin check mate. 

Don’t fucking mess with me, I’m from the motha fuckin Hong Kong

My fist will reunify with yo face like how China reunified under MAO ZEDONG*

If you’re wondering what I’m drawing, it’s called calligraphy

You should get educated, fool, or I a send yo ass to a communist prison and to be a detainee.

Are those fucking fireworks shootin up into the air?

FUCK NO, thats the cum I’m shooting on your face and hair

But don’t worry though bitch, no need to pay for me for skin care.

Now send me your mother and sister, it’s only fair.

You want your nails done now? I ain’t fucking Vietnamese

But I can probably fix your computer back into one piece.

Did yall see us at the 2008 Summer Olympics?

Some of our acrobats and they flexible ass tricks

Yeah, damn straight, all our females nimble like that

Not like these American bitches so GOD DAMN FAT.

I party with my hoes with Baiju* and Bacardi.

I have orgies with fucking models, while you at a lemon party*.

If you have sex with a guy from the Chinese race,

Your moans will be like our Great Wall and be heard from SPACE.

Red and gold, mother fuckers, red and gold           

Red and gold, mother fuckers, red and gold

Red and gold, mother fuckers, red and gold

(Drop the karaoke mic, and bounce)

Glossary

Chinese Chess:  Is a popular board game in China that my dad plays.

Baiju: A Chinese alcoholic drink which is nicknamed white devil, which we secretly call white people sometimes.

Lemon party:  orgy involving three older, overweight men with flaccid penises. 

Mao Zedong (December 26, 1893 – September 9, 1976): A Chinese communist revolutionary, Marxist philosopher and leader of the Chinese Revolution. 

28

Sep

I love your moms. 

I love your moms.